So...thanks.

Today marks the beginning. The start of the mass text messaging season.

I used to wake up to the delicious smell of our midday meal being prepared. Those were happier times. Today I found myself waking up to the lovely tune of my cell phone indicating a text message.

Not once. Four times.

Happy turkey day they said. That's what it's called now. Turkey Day. No one refers to it as Thanksgiving. Because no one is giving thanks. They are simply practicing the art of binge eating, which is what America is so good at.

Some had an oh-so-creative gobble gobble added on. Thank you, random person from high school, for reminding me of what the bird carcass currently being cooked downstairs used to say. Let's hang out next time I'm in town.

But we won't.

And we probably won't communicate until next year, when you wake me up again.

The same thing happens on Christmas. And of course again on New Years. Don't get me wrong. I am just as guilty as the rest of them. I have sent the mass Happy '08 message. But, in my defense, I was quite intoxicated. It wouldn't have happened had the double-fisting not taken place.

So, thanks wireless communication technology. Thanks for giving people that I haven't talked to in five years the ability to feel like we are still friends.

I hope the food you eat today is more delicious than the food you ate every other day this year.